A Practical Guide to French Reflexive Verbs
Vocalyra teaching team · Last updated:
French reflexive verbs, also known as pronominal verbs, describe actions that someone does to themselves. Think of daily routine actions like washing up or getting dressed. They are easy to recognize because they always use an extra pronoun (me, te, se, nous, vous, se) that refers back to the subject.
What Are Reflexive Verbs?
A reflexive verb shows that the subject is performing an action on itself. The infinitive form of the verb is always preceded by "se" or "s'", for example, "se laver" (to wash oneself) or "s'habiller" (to dress oneself). This little word "se" is the reflexive pronoun, and it changes to match the subject of the sentence.
The reflexive pronouns are:
- me (m') - myself
- te (t') - yourself (singular, informal)
- se (s') - himself, herself, itself, themselves
- nous - ourselves
- vous - yourself (plural or formal)
- se (s') - themselves
The pronouns m', t', and s' are used before a verb that starts with a vowel or a silent h. This is called elision.
How to Conjugate Reflexive Verbs in the Present Tense
To conjugate a reflexive verb, you place the correct reflexive pronoun before the conjugated verb. The verb itself is conjugated just like a regular verb of its group (er, ir, re). Let's look at "se lever" (to get up) and "s'appeler" (to be called).
| Subject | Reflexive Pronoun | Se lever (to get up) | S'appeler (to be called) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Je | me (m') | je me lève | je m'appelle |
| Tu | te (t') | tu te lèves | tu t'appelles |
| Il/Elle/On | se (s') | il se lève | elle s'appelle |
| Nous | nous | nous nous levons | nous nous appelons |
| Vous | vous | vous vous levez | vous vous appelez |
| Ils/Elles | se (s') | ils se lèvent | elles s'appellent |
Notice the double "nous" and "vous". The first is the subject pronoun (we/you) and the second is the reflexive pronoun (ourselves/yourself/yourselves). It looks strange, but it is correct: "Nous nous levons à 7h." (We get up at 7am.)
Using Reflexive Verbs with Another Verb
When a reflexive verb in its infinitive form follows a conjugated verb (like aller, vouloir, or pouvoir), the reflexive pronoun still needs to match the subject.
- Je vais me coucher tôt ce soir. (I am going to go to bed early tonight.)
- Tu dois te dépêcher. (You must hurry.)
- Nous allons nous promener dans le parc. (We are going to walk in the park.)
Forming Negations
To make a reflexive verb negative, the "ne" goes before the reflexive pronoun, and the "pas" goes after the conjugated verb. The structure is: subject + ne + reflexive pronoun + verb + pas.
- Je ne me lève pas tard. (I don't get up late.)
- Elle ne s'inquiète pas. (She does not worry.)
Commands with Reflexive Verbs (The Imperative)
In positive commands, the reflexive pronoun is attached to the end of the verb with a hyphen. "Te" becomes "toi".
- Lève-toi ! (Get up!)
- Habillons-nous ! (Let's get dressed!)
- Asseyez-vous. (Sit down.)
In negative commands, the structure is the same as a standard negative sentence, just without the subject.
- Ne te lève pas ! (Don't get up!)
- Ne nous dépêchons pas. (Let's not hurry.)
- Ne vous inquiétez pas. (Don't worry.)
The Passé Composé with Être
This is often the most challenging part for learners. All reflexive verbs use "être" as the auxiliary verb in the passé composé. This means the past participle often needs to agree in gender and number with the subject. However, the rule is more specific: the past participle agrees with the reflexive pronoun only when the pronoun is the direct object of the verb.
Agreement happens when the action is done directly to the subject:
- Elle s'est lavée. (She washed herself.) Here, "se" is the direct object (she washed whom? herself), so "lavé" agrees with "elle" and becomes "lavée".
No agreement happens when a different direct object follows the verb. This is very common with body parts:
- Elle s'est lavé les mains. (She washed her hands.) Here, the direct object is "les mains", not "se". "Se" is an indirect object (she washed the hands *for herself*). So, "lavé" does not agree.
No agreement also happens when the reflexive pronoun is an indirect object. This is common with reciprocal verbs, where people do something *to each other*.
- Ils se sont parlé. (They spoke to each other.) They spoke *to* whom? To each other. "Se" is an indirect object, so there is no agreement.
- Nous nous sommes écrit. (We wrote to each other.)
Idiomatic Verbs: When the Meaning Changes
Some verbs take on a completely new, idiomatic meaning when they become reflexive. You just have to learn them.
- s'en aller: to go away, to leave (Je m'en vais. - I'm leaving.)
- se rendre compte de: to realize (Il s'est rendu compte de son erreur. - He realized his mistake.)
- s'entendre avec: to get along with (Je m'entends bien avec mes collègues. - I get along well with my colleagues.)
- se tromper: to be mistaken, to make a mistake (Pardon, je me suis trompé. - Sorry, I was mistaken.)
- se souvenir de: to remember (Tu te souviens de ce film ? - Do you remember this movie?)
Common Mistakes to Avoid
There are a few common pitfalls with reflexive verbs. First, remember to always include the reflexive pronoun; saying "Je lave" means you are washing something else, like the car. Second, when talking about body parts, use a definite article (le, la, les), not a possessive one. Say "Je me brosse les dents" (I brush my teeth), not "Je me brosse mes dents". Finally, be careful with past tense agreement. Always ask if the reflexive pronoun is the direct object. Did she wash herself ("elle s'est lavée") or did she wash her hands ("elle s'est lavé les mains")? This distinction is key.
Quick self-check
How would you say 'We are getting up' in French?
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Nous nous levons.
Correct this sentence: 'Elle s'est lavée les cheveux'.
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The correct sentence is 'Elle s'est lavé les cheveux'. The past participle doesn't agree because 'les cheveux' is the direct object, not 's'.
Translate this command into French: 'Hurry up!' (informal)
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Dépêche-toi !
What is the difference in meaning between 'parler' and 'se parler'?
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'Parler' means 'to speak' or 'to talk'. 'Se parler' is reciprocal and means 'to talk to each other'.
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